OUT TO PASTOR: The journey of 1,000 miles begins with an apple fritter

Life has many paths, and I have discovered that traveling any of them takes a lot of energy.Unlike The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage, my energy comes from those wonderful apple fritters. I can’t remember the first time I had one, but I vividly remember the last time.

OUT TO PASTOR: Sir Procrastinate-A-Lot rules my day

I must admit that I procrastinate a lot. The biggest example is when I get up in the morning. I wait until the very last minute to get up. My goal is to get up before lunch.This is the primary difference between me and The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage.

OUT TO PASTOR: Money, money, money... where’s all the money?

I can’t keep count of all the phone calls informing me that I won millions of dollars and a brand-new Mercedes-Benz. All I have to do is send them $15,000 to cover the income tax and processing fee, and they will be able to send me millions of dollars.

OUT TO PASTOR: Another week on my own

Several weeks ago, The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage informed me she would be in St. Augustine with our daughter and granddaughter for spring break.As always, I really didn’t properly process this information. I get so busy with other things that there are some things I can’t process.

OUT TO PASTOR: There’s no place like home

Finishing my morning work, The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage appeared at my office and asked, “Do you know what day it is?”I didn’t know if this was a trick question because she always puts a trick question before me.“I think,” my dear, “that it is Tuesday.

OUT TO PASTOR: Make room for laughter

After about two months in recovery mode, I had an opportunity to go to the neighborhood Publix. It’s been a long time since I’ve been in a store, and I was happy to get out of the house and give The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage a break.While walking around, I noticed everybody seemed very sad.

OUT TO PASTOR: How coffee has changed my life

Recently, I was sitting drinking a nice hot cup of coffee. It’s the first thing I do, and I can’t get anything done until I do.I was thinking about this coffee as I was drinking it, and remembered there was a time when I didn’t like coffee at all.

OUT TO PASTOR: Don’t call me stupid– just whisper it

One thing that irritates me is people talking behind my back.While in the mall recently, I passed two people, and I heard one say, “Doesn’t he look stupid?”Tempted as I was, I didn’t turn around and inquire what they were talking about. Did they think I looked stupid?

OUT TO PASTOR: A needle named “Miss Ouch”

My father has been gone for 15 years. It hardly seems that long, but time goes by, and you can’t stop it. One of his “jokes” was, “Son, I’m so sick and tired of being sick and tired.” Then he would laugh, and I would, of course, join in with his laughter.

OUT TO PASTOR: My days of wonder in the hospital

My plans for the New Year were horribly changed – by me ending up in the hospital.Around the middle of the month, it seemed like I may have had the flu. After all, everybody around me had the flu, and I just wanted to fit in with society in general.