OUT TO PASTOR: It’s not always what I don’t know

I would be the first to admit one truth about myself: I don’t know everything.To quote a politician, “I don’t know what I don’t know.”That has been the theme of my life for as long as I can remember.It all began with my parents.

OUT TO PASTOR: Whatever happened to “My Space?”

When I was young, one of my life priorities was “My Space.” I defended it with everything I had.At school, I even had to go several times to the principal’s office and explain what “My Space” was all about.He didn’t seem to understand, and I had to explain it.

OUT TO PASTOR: A tribute to Ms. Gossips-A-Lot

I was sitting in the shopping mall this week, drinking coffee and taking a break. I don’t like going to the mall, but sometimes I have to go and pick up something for The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage. While drinking coffee, I watched people pass by.

OUT TO PASTOR: It was a snarly kind of day

Last week, The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage had another one of her girl days with our daughter and granddaughter.Don’t let this get around, but it’s one of my favorite days of the year, including my birthday. It’s a day which I can do what I want to do.

OUT TO PASTOR: How much sleep is too much?

I have noticed recently that sleeping has become a very important part of my life.This just snuck up on me overnight.When I was young and living at home, I tried to come up with excuses and reasons for not going to bed at night.

OUT TO PASTOR: The journey of 1,000 miles begins with an apple fritter

Life has many paths, and I have discovered that traveling any of them takes a lot of energy.Unlike The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage, my energy comes from those wonderful apple fritters. I can’t remember the first time I had one, but I vividly remember the last time.

OUT TO PASTOR: Sir Procrastinate-A-Lot rules my day

I must admit that I procrastinate a lot. The biggest example is when I get up in the morning. I wait until the very last minute to get up. My goal is to get up before lunch.This is the primary difference between me and The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage.

OUT TO PASTOR: Money, money, money... where’s all the money?

I can’t keep count of all the phone calls informing me that I won millions of dollars and a brand-new Mercedes-Benz. All I have to do is send them $15,000 to cover the income tax and processing fee, and they will be able to send me millions of dollars.

OUT TO PASTOR: Another week on my own

Several weeks ago, The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage informed me she would be in St. Augustine with our daughter and granddaughter for spring break.As always, I really didn’t properly process this information. I get so busy with other things that there are some things I can’t process.

OUT TO PASTOR: There’s no place like home

Finishing my morning work, The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage appeared at my office and asked, “Do you know what day it is?”I didn’t know if this was a trick question because she always puts a trick question before me.“I think,” my dear, “that it is Tuesday.