“Acting is not an important job in the scheme of things. Plumbing is.
– Spencer Tracy
Functional plumbing is an indispensable part of our modern civilization. And those who labor as professional plumbers have chosen a noble profession.
With necessary water and pipes in every house and building, we need good plumbers. But sometimes plumbing chores inconveniently land in our laps.
For even if you are not a licensed plumber fixing the water woes of the world for a living, if you occupy a home or hovel of any kind, plumbing emergencies will fall to you at some point.
Sometimes this means that you are the one to simply call in the problem to the nearest plumbing professional.
But often times, especially in emergencies, you are the one on the front lines, plunger, auger, or wrench in hand, tasked with fixing the problem.
And whether you are the do-it-yourself homeowner with an angry wife in a clogged shower, or the desperate tenant waving your VISA card and waiting in your driveway for your local plumber to come to the rescue, plumbing problems can be a real headache.
And they can be expensive. If possible, it is best to avoid them altogether.
Here are a few things I have learned that might save you some money and grief.
Disclaimer – I am not a professional plumber. I am only a coffee-drinking homeowner and closet writer, slumped over my typewriter most mornings, trying to bring a bit of value into the world.
My wife says I am not normal. If these tips don’t work, you’ve been warned. Use this information at your own risk.
The main thing you want to do to avoid plumbing headaches is to keep your drains clear. Here’s the hard truth.
Just like arteries that plaque up if you eat at McDonald’s every day, pipes clog over time. Addressing the consistent need for soap and water, the average unwashed human, in an effort to simply get clean, will daily flush copious amounts of soap scum, hair, and skin oils down the drain.
Add to this food particles and kitchen refuse, including dangerous grease, and you have plumbing disasters just waiting to happen.
But don’t fret because keeping your drains clear is one of the easiest things you can do.
For only a few bucks a month you can prevent most of your serious plumbing problems.
NOTE – I recommend you do not use the expensive and caustic chemical drain cleaners commonly available.
They can seriously damage your pipes and are not good for the environment. Instead, try these inexpensive and non-toxic options.
Your first line of defense is the humble mesh strainer. Put these in every drain. They will keep gobs of hair and food particles out of your pipes.
Next, be careful about grease. Never pour grease down the drain. Hot grease in your pipes at some point will cool and become like candle wax, sure to clog your pipes.
Pour grease into a coffee can or container. And always wipe out pans and pots with a paper towel before washing.
Now for the good stuff. As the resident plumber in the house, you have two primary weapons at your disposal.
The first is WASHING SODA.
Washing soda (sodium carbonate) is the more potent cousin of baking soda (sodium bicarbonate), but they are not the same.
Washing soda is more powerful and much better at cleaning your pipes.
I like the Arm & Hammer brand “Super Washing Soda” (look for the yellow box). It is sold as a “laundry booster” so will be found with the laundry detergent in most stores.
Cost for a box as of this writing is about $5.
Washing soda has a high pH and over time (6-8 hours), as it settles in your pipes, will break down molecular bonds and turn fats, oils, and grease into actual liquid soap through a chemical process called “saponification.”
To make this work, simply pour about one cup of washing soda down the drain followed by hot tap water and let it sit overnight.
Then run more hot water in the morning. Repeat as needed.
Do not use boiling water, which can soften and harm PVC drain pipes.
Hot water from your tap is safe, and hot enough.
Do this washing soda flush once or twice a month to keep your pipes clear. And do not mix washing soda with anything but water – no vinegar (vinegar will neutralize the cleaning power of washing soda).
The second weapon in your plumbing tool kit is HYDROGEN PEROXIDE. Hydrogen peroxide (use only the standard cheap 3% hydrogen peroxide – not the stronger stuff) works as a mild oxidizer and will strip away organic residue and bio film.
Hydrogen peroxide will clean up that slime that can coat the inside of your pipes and cause problems.
Hydrogen peroxide will also combat stinky drains and keep your house from smelling like a homeless camp.
To use, pour one cup down the drain, wait an hour, and then rinse with hot tap water – again, no boiling water.
Do not mix washing soda with hydrogen peroxide. Use them separately, alternating your drain cleaning methods.
Regular use will keep the professional plumbers at bay (sorry guys) and money in your purse or pocket.
I didn’t mention toilet issues.
While you can use washing soda and hydrogen peroxide, a non-flushing or slow-flushjng toilet can often be fixed with a healthy dose of regular dish soap poured into the bowl and flushed (do this often).
Dish soap is a great lubricant and can make the bad stuff go down and stay down.
If you are the plumber in the house, keep your pipes clean and clear with these simple tricks.
Happy draining.
© Jody Dyer 2026 typewriterweekly.com