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OUT TO PASTOR: The BOGO Queen has left the building

When it comes to shopping, I am three coupons short of sanity. I have never liked going shopping unless it has to do with books. Then I’m on my turf.

When first married, I did go grocery shopping once – but have never since been asked to do it again. I don’t want to know the reason; I will just accept the situation.

The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage is a different story, and is why I call her the BOGO (Buy One, Get One) Queen. She has earned this title a thousand times.

If anybody knows anything about BOGO, it is my wife. Her whole shopping agenda is based upon this. She will never buy one thing if she can get a second one for free. I like that sort of thing. Anything that is “free” is okay with me.

She will search several times a week for these BOGO coupons on her computer. Every once in a while, I will hear her say, “That’s what I’m looking for.” Then I will hear several clicks, and soon the printer will be printing out dozens of coupons for the day.

She knows every store within 100 miles and their inventory and when they are going to have a BOGO sale. I understand she knows that by searching the Internet. She knows what BOGO coupon to print and where to go to find them and then where to use them.

The only thing that worries me is when she says, “Honey, could I borrow your truck for the day?”

That’s not good news on any level. But then I have a hard time saying no. You can suspect the outcome. That’s why I never keep my fuel tank full just in case. If she uses it she has to put gas in it. That’s not BOGO – that is BINGO.

I must confess that I do have an ice cream fetish. I need to have ice cream at the end of the day or the day is not complete. My favorite ice cream is the one I’m eating at the time.

I’m delighted to say there is enough ice cream in the refrigerator to last two months because of these BOGO coupons. But, of course, I could speed up my eating and bring it down to one month. Nobody would know.

If I am in need of anything, say aftershave, all I need to do is mention the fact that I am out of aftershave. Within the next 10 minutes, the BOGO Queen will have found a dozen BOGO aftershave coupons for her next trip to the store.

Recently, when the BOGO Queen was out coupon shopping, I ran across a cache of cookies hiding in one of the cupboards. It was a “happy dance” moment for me. Then, with a great deal of caution, I opened one box and took out a cookie.

I surely enjoyed that cookie, knowing that nobody knew that I was enjoying that cookie.

About an hour later, the BOGO Queen came home and put her shopping bags on the kitchen table.

She stopped for a moment, looked at me rather curiously, and said, “You did not find the cookies, did you?”

How she knew I found them, I will never know. I tried to stutter and change the subject and deny everything. But nothing worked.

Then I came up with an idea.

“You bought those cookies with a BOGO coupon, right?”

I smiled as I asked the question.

She looked at me and said, “Yes, I think you’re right.” And she smiled as she was telling me that.

“I,” replying very cautiously, “only ate the free one.”

She smiled a rather curious smile at me and did not know what to say.

Whoever came up with this BOGO idea, I would like to congratulate them. And there are several reasons why.

First of all, it keeps my wife busy following through with all these BOGO coupons. How she can find so many at any given time is beyond my imagination. But, she does and spends quite a bit of time finding the coupon and then going to the stores and purchasing those BOGO products.

Second, anything that is free will find welcoming arms with me. I love things that are free as long as they really are free. I love things that occupy my wife in a very positive way. And boy, does she do a good job in this area.

As I was going over this, I thought of a very special Bible verse.

“Give, and it shall be given unto you; good measure, pressed down, and shaken together, and running over, shall men give into your bosom. For with the same measure that ye mete withal it shall be measured to you again” (Luke 6:38).

A generous spirit does have its rewards. What I have is a reflection of what I have given. I have discovered that the more I give the more I get. Of course, if I only give to get I have the wrong attitude.

Dr. James L. Snyder lives in Ocala, FL with the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage. Telephone (352)216-3025, e-mail Website is

Ellis County Press

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Ferris, TX 75125