OUT TO PASTOR: How to live with a Veggie-Holic

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By Dr. James L. Snyder

In our house, not many conflicts expose themselves. For the most part, it is a very quiet and serene home occupied by two lovebirds.

I am not saying we are perfect. For we are not. The imperfect side of this marvelous relationship is Yours Truly. I was born imperfect and I have honored my birthright ever since.

I do not care what some may say about crazy people, I have enjoyed my craziness all my life. When you are perfect, you have to be careful that you do not make any mistake or act crazy.

When, however, you are imperfect and tilt towards the crazy side of life, your life is a joy. If you make a mistake, well, that is part of life. But on the positive side, when you do something right, you become the amazement of people around you.

So, our relationship in the Parsonage has been a very wonderful relationship. At least, from my side of the room. What the other resident says may be quite different.

We do make a great team, though. I can break anything and she can fix anything. How much better do you need to be?

When I make a mistake, she can correct me even in front of people. Now that is what I like. I would hate people to think I am stupid, crazy is one thing but stupid is something altogether different. And it is the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage that consistently rescues me from being stupid.

Being a non-perfectionist, I can enjoy every day of my life, no matter what happens or what doesn’t happen.

I cannot imagine what life is like for that person who is a perfectionist, like my wife.

She sees something that needs fixing, and she is busy trying to fix it.

If something is out of place, she is the first one to put it in its place. She has put me in my place for many years.

Few things we disagree on but there is one thing on top of that list. They can be boiled down into one word: VEGETABLES.

My wife loves vegetables almost as much as I love apple fritters. I do not think since the day she was born a day has passed without her consuming some kind of vegetable. She knows vegetables like I know apple fritters. There is not a vegetable known to mankind that she has not consumed.

Even for breakfast, she likes to sneak in some kind of vegetable. With my oatmeal, for example, she likes to sneak in a carrot. What in the world do carrots have to do with breakfast?

Her response to this is simply, “Vegetables are good for you and it’s good to start the day off with a vegetable.”

For her sake, I will grudgingly put up with some vegetables. Some vegetables, however, I will not put up with, I have made my stand strong through the years and I have not moved. Leading the list would be Broccoli.

Yes, I know all of the benefits of eating broccoli. My wife has told me this over and over throughout the years and I can repeat it verbatim.

My problem is, I do not believe what anybody says about broccoli. First, broccoli looks like a miniature tree that has not grown up yet. Who likes to eat trees?

There is no way to prepare broccoli that my wife does not already know. For years, she tried to entice me and con me into eating broccoli. I will fall for just about anything, except broccoli.

Every once in a while my wife will say, “What would you like for supper tonight?”

I do not pause, but immediately say, “Anything but broccoli.”

I have the same apprehension for broccoli as she does for apple fritters.

I believe that an Apple fritter is basically “a fruit.”

Once when I was trying to explain to her that an Apple fritter was a fruit she replied in disgust, “Anybody that believes that is just fruity.”

What she does not realize is, I do not mind being fruity. I would rather be fruity than eat any broccoli.

The question here is how do you live with someone who is such a veggie-Holic?

There could not be any bigger span of separation than between a veggie-holic and an Apple fritter fan.

Recently we have come to an amicable agreement, which simply is, she does not talk about broccoli and I do not talk about apple fritters. She does not believe what I say about apple fritters anyway. And, I do not believe what she says about broccoli.

So, we have learned to respect each other’s differences. That is what makes a relationship good. The only question I have is, and I don’t bring it up very often, does an Apple fritter smell as bad as broccoli cooking on the stove?

Looking back over our relationship very few things we disagree on and the things we disagree on are not that important that it should affect our relationship.

I love what that wise old prophet in the Old Testament said, “Can two walk together, except they be agreed?” (Amos 3:3).

It is not what we disagree on; rather, it is what we agree on that is important. If you are going in one direction, you must have the same opinion that it is the direction you are going.

The Rev. James L. Snyder is pastor of the Family of God Fellowship, 1471 Pine Road, Ocala, FL 34472. He lives with the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage, in Ocala, Florida. Call him at 352-687-4240 or e-mail jamessnyder2@att.net. The church web site is www.whatafellowship.com.

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