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The Forgotten Man

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Thought about going to the inauguration this week, but forgot if they was puttin’ it on on Wednesday or Thursday, so decided not to go. Not much media coverage, you know. Besides, my post-hole digger needs a good sharpening, so reckon I’ll hang around Ellis County this week; might even visit down toward Nash, while they’re going giddy up in DC. I’d prefer it, to tell the truth. Didn’t get an invite, anyway.

So, guess I’ll catch up on my posthole-digging down in the pasture this year, while Washington digs the entire nation deeper into the Carlsbad-sized cavern it’s been shoveling out, especially for to scoop all us states into in one giant heap.

You know, it doesn’t seem fair how we all have to be drug into the Capital pit, since we’re really not doing that bad in Texas, across much of the South, and in most of the other Red States. Let the Blue (Yankee) States bear the brunt of what they probably voted themselves into. Them and the Left Coast. Let the remainder of us be.

Actually, got to thinking about the much-ballyhooed ceremony this week in Washington and recognized it to be America’s initial integrated inauguration. LBJ would be proud, that is unless The Obama happened to be running against him. Lyndon could rest assured it could never happen to him, with Duval County still in the mix.

But, doesn’t it make really good sense to begin considering a, let me see, we could call it a realignment of the old fashioned and outdated idea of all 50 contiguous states in the U.S. remaining as one, when in actuality, nothing could be further from the truth and for some time now. Like oil and water, red and blue voting don’t mix.

Hey, a goodly number of our most "progressive" jurists have been telling us, for some time now, how obsolete the idea is of a literal interpretation of the Constitution, as envisioned by and implied by the founding fathers. Hey, they say, or more properly, hear the Constitution is a living, evolving, flexible, adaptable to the modern times we live in document. In other words, it can mean whatever we want it to think whenever we want it to if you’ll excuse the preposition-ending sentence, folks.

How about a parallel to the living constitution idea. So, what do you propose, Simmons?

Heh, heh, glad you asked. By the way, who are you anyway?

Well, we could start out by re-examining the meaning of "The South shall rise again" statements of, say, the last (what’s 2009 minus 1865?). Yeah, of the last 144 years, give or take a month or so. Sounds like whoever said it knew something about them (the South) being stepped on and squished against their will by some unnamed invading Northern Yankee (Blue) states, including Massachusetts.

So we’ll place the Southern states over on our Right side and the unnamed Northern, Yankee (incl. Mass.) on the Left side. Good start. Some might be tempted to refer to these as Larry and Curly, but for simple reference, let’s call them the Confederated states and the Federal states, Right and Left.

Out on the Left Coast (must be something in the waters off the Pacific coasts, gitchigoomie maybe); anyway, many (sane) people have given them up for dead, in actuality, for some time now. Fruits and nuts, you know. So me and, whoever that was asking a while ago, have decided to lump the Left Coast, we’ll call them Moe-states for simplicity’s sake, let us lump the Moe states over with Larry and the Federal states. Fair enough?

For balance and fairness, let us then assemble a number of the sane states over and opposite to California, Oregon and Washington. Okay, that could be Idaho, Nevada, Arizona, Utah, Montana, Wyoming, Colorado, New Mexico, Oklahoma, Kansas, Nebraska and the Dakotas.

To conclude, the Federals get Hawaii and the Confederation gets Alaska.

A good start. The former USSR would be proud of our liberality and willingness to smell the roses, choose sides, stay as friendly as unlikes can be, and let the chip fall where they may. A general (unchangeable)rule would be for each state to stay, leave, swap sides, or go it alone anytime, and at its very own choosing to be sovereign, in other words .

Maybe the Larry’s and Moe’s could call themselves the Obama States of America. Perhaps the Curly states would seek Sarah Palin as its first president.

Now where did that guy asking all the questions go?

May God bless.


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